Friday, 1 May 2009

Honey, I styled the kids

Do you remember Wayne Szalinski from the late 80s and 90s? I doubt many that of the stylish young chaps featured below do because they are far too young. For the benefit of those who don't then, Szalinski was just your average 'nutty' scientist who worked on top secret machines and accidentally (somewhat carelessly) tested his latest laser beam contraption on his own children (more than once). It seems the hilarious scientist has diverted his attention from shrinking and blowing up his own kids and has duly flicked the 'style' switch whilst aiming his laser at children indiscriminately. If you think I've gone crazy please bear with me because I do have a point hidden somewhere amongst my confused ramblings. This week the best dressed people I've seen online and beyond have been less than 5ft tall and I am not talking about isolated sightings of a re-styled Danny DeVito....my attention has been frequently diverted to the youth of today.

Not a DS or action figure in sight...a typical scan from Vogue Enfants from Fashion Screen

I have suffered sartorial envy towards a toddler before at the hands of this mini Parisian captured by Tommy but these past few days the sheer volume of styled little folk have left me dazed, confused and strangely envious. In short I am close to being a man beaten by someone I really should not be. My week began with me learning exactly what goes on inside the pages of Vogue Enfants (courtesy of The Fashionisto). The well styled editorials depict a number of those whipper snappers in somewhat alarmingly mature environments. In terms of the clothes themselves I'd happily wear most of it and this combined with the fake tattoos and faux driving shots makes the whole thing very, very strange indeed. In truth I was freaked out a little by it all. I compared what I was like at that age...and remembered that I was happiest in my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle t-shirt initially and then progressed to Arsenal football kits and little else. When I wanted to look more mature I went to the shop and naively 'puffed' on candy cigarettes and applied the Superman tattoo to my arm. But damn this publication and the evidence below suggests that kids grow up fast these days.

Two straw fedoras belonging to two stylish prepubescents

Just as I recovered from the shock of Vogue Enfants I encountered two well style prepubescents over on the Sartorialist and Facehunter wearing strikingly similar ensembles including matching straw fedoras (something not lost on Thom either). The little star captured by Mr Schuman has already generated a great deal of attention amongst commenters (155 and counting) and the general consensus is that he is adorable. The cut of his jacket and length of cuff is spot on. Not only is he extremely well turned out but he knows how to pose far better than me! I need to pull my finger out, I'm not ready yet to beaten so easily by those so young. The slightly older chap snapped by Facehunter once again out dresses me and seems to posses more attitude.

Whilst on the subject on being out styled by the 'small people' I would like to cast your minds back to a little GQ feature on an eight year old. Thom first brought Arlo Weiner to my attention back in March whilst showcasing the eight year old's style and declaring "Arlo Weiner, son of Mad Men creator Matt Weiner, is simply one of the most stylish people, anywhere, of any age." I have to agree with him. Thom subsequently threatened to give up the style game when he encountered Luca and Daniel via the NY Times and again these boys are depressingly well put together.

I am only twenty five but feel like a past his prime Father gasping for air whilst watching his Son beat him at yet another sport. What is happening? Is Wayne Szalinski really to blame for this sustained influx of stylish nippers? What do you make of these little folk, are you in awe like me whilst finding it all a little creepy and wrong? The fact that I am being out styled by someone who could well still wet the bed is not what scares me but rather the thought of what these kids could become when they grow up! I will leave you digest this fear inducing thought whilst admiring their respective getups...

13 comments:

Ian Brown said...

Don't let it beat you down. In time they too will suffer wardrobe foul ups, double chins, acne, muffintops (scone tops if you're British?), worry lines, receding hair lines, and coffee stained smiles. I do not envy their innocence.

Mouse said...

I love that striped shirt under the blazer with white piping.

Agree with Ian also. Here's hoping this is an early creative peak - and that it's troughing only from here on in.

Style Salvage Steve said...

Ian: But are they so innocent anymore? I know I was at that age. With publications like Vogue Enfants with highly styled editorials and adverts. I agree though that tougher, less cute times are to come though.
Mouse: That little chap is my favourite as well. It has atleast sparked a few ideas for myself.

Anonymous said...

These kids are crazy.

naboonies said...

This is only stylists' work, don't be discouraged Steve! I think it takes a long time to develop a personal andrearc impeccable style, something that these kids yet to possess.

Ahh, long gone are the days where kids prance about in cute little t-shirts and dresses..

Robin said...

I find it really creepy. I think they should just wear tshirts and be happy, unless they are really interested in wearing these clothes.

nathan said...

is it me or do their heads look like they've been photoshopped in to the pictures? weird. but strangely cool.

so dude, i was in borders today browsing thru the lovely glossies as we all like to do before i decided on homme arena (some fit photo shoots paticularly 'i see ye are condemened to kill me' minus the roberto cavalli trousers tho) but i digress.

i was quickly flicking thru 10 (ladies - summer edition) and there was an article for ten top blogs to keep an eye out for or something of that ilk and there before my very eyes was stylesalvage with a very complimentary blurb! well impressed! i'm sure you know all about this tho but just thought i'd congratulate you on getting some well deserved recognition.

i've been following your blog for quite a few months now and i have to commend you on all parts for your witty, incisive and eye opening dialogue. A*

Anonymous said...

Check out the hipster Kids clothes http://www.thecoolhunter.net/transportation/2009-Gullwing-America-300-SL-Panamericana/

Anonymous said...

oops - sorry here's the correct link

http://www.thecoolhunter.net/fashion/Hipster-Kids/

aTreasuryOf said...

The thing I find suspicious is the overly-articulate way some of these youngsters talk about their outfits and the choices behind them.

I, too, want 12 year olds and under to just wear super hero t-shirts and dirty jeans. Kids, be kids, okay?

wecouldgrowup2gether said...

they are too cute! almost cant handle the fashion magic!

tanya said...

okay this post makes me feel like a creepy pedophile.
why do these boys have to dress 1 million times better than men my own age?

dammit maybe i should just give up on dating 20-something guys and start aiming a bit lower... lol hoping this post doesnt get me blacklisted by ASIO (Australia's version of the CIA) on some secret pedophile-watch of australia list...

-h said...

i didnt start dressing on a daily basis until after college!! unbelievable, kids these days are wayyy too well dressed.

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